Michigan Owl Attacks; Their Causes And Prevention

Recent slew of hairy owl attacks has Michiganders racing for cover, but hoo or what is behind it, lets find out together.

The Michigan owl, is by far the wisest of fowl.

It is the most beautiful creature; and class is her most fanciful feature.

The stories are overblown, no one had their hair ripped off to the bone.

And after all reports were sorted, not a single injury was ever reported.

The owl of such great class, has both a sense of humour and sass.

Maybe a kink or two, but only as not to be a shrew.

Ladies and germtermen, the toupee is the cause! A lady owl just wants to grab it with the claws.

She wants to tear it up in hot passion, in that bird of prey fashion.

This is why only men need to worry, about that downward fury.

Scientists are still studying this, but it is thought to be an owl kiss.

And most times they do a second round, to lick the freshly exposed mound.

How many licks in deed, do they really need.

Yes, owls are a little bit weird, but they should never be feared.

They love watching humans during the day, to them our shimmy shammies look like ballet.

Lets be honest here for a bit, and and say something in a lickey split.

Owls love us and we love them back, so don’t be surprised when you get a love peck.

She will do to your toupee what it wants to do to you, boo hoo.

And to prevent the attack, all you need is a hat, and that’s that.

Pull it on tight, with all your might.

And so as long as you wear it all night, you'll be alright.

And if you spot an owl let it be, she loves peace and quiet and being free.

In times of climate change, the weather gets really strange.

And now more than ever we must care, about all creatures from little mouse to grizzly bear.