So You Arrived At Your Camp Site! What Do, And What No Do?

Deploy your mosquito sticks, and if you got the fat ones, you may just need one.

You will need to put them out before sleep, KICK THEM, before touching – hot ash.

You have to kick off the hot ash, before pulling them out to put them out.

Spray yourself with bug repellent, and if you are in a tick zone.

Duck tape your pant legs, so that no bug can crawl up there.

Then setup your tent, so that you have some place to put things.

And as soon as your tent is up, run like crazy to gather wood for the evening fire.

Bring a sharp professional saw, just big enough to never really fit in your backpack.

ALWAYS, always use gloves, when handling sharp objects in the woods.

In a garage, you are only a phone-call away, from having your limbs reattached.

In the woods, you follow animal wisdom.

If it is sharp, you don’t duck with it.

Your saw, will be heavy, clunky, but you will love it, because it will cut through anything.

From a tree stump, to a grizzle.

Again, angry attacking animals hate two things, sharp teeth, and your fingers.

Look, things area bout to get weird, and I never had to do this.

And you should ask, did you attack the bear or did the bear attack you..

But when it comes to survival, survival - is what you do.

And when it comes to protecting your vacation, you do it fast.

So if you are ever attacked, forget the eyes, forget the snout, don’t rotate the shark, just go for maximum weird.

Just imagine a bear stuck to your butt, scratching at the eyes is going to make her chomp harder.

Once you are at the point of dying, from having one your buttocks ripped off.

There is no such ting as weird, go for the gold, and you’ll be apples.

See. it does not matter if the bear is 8ft tall, does it.

Wash your hands, with soap, rub some dirt on your cheeks, finish your sausage, you’ll be fine in the morning.

No animal, Hillbilly, or Park Ranger even, will ever bother you in that neck of the woods again.

Other than that, avoid burning poisons species, (which are never found near sites) inhaling poison ivy, oak, sumac, or a venomous snake is probably bad.

So is sitting; down wind from the fire, and getting smoke inhalation or carbon monoxide poisoning.

Be careful, be wise, use your lizard brain, it is what’s it for.

I am somewhat exaggerating, so don’t worry about attacks and poisonous things too much.

If you are out alone in the woods, you should definable not worry about your job.

Chances are, that is the most poisonous thing, as it is what put you there.

Honestly, the fire is always so fun, you never want to be out of wood.

Wet logs are not always bad, because you can dry them by the fire.

Certainly, for the next day.

And when it rains put your best dry sticks, in a trash bag or under a tarp/tent.

So you can warm up, by your breakfast fire.

While you are out in the woods, find a fresh stick for your sausage.

How you are going to do it, when it is mostly illegal, is up to you.

Make sure it is fishing rod long, and that it will last.

And put the sausage on length wise, you want it to stay on the stick.

Don’t worry if you drop food in the fire, it is very clean, just clean the ash off.

If your tent is up, mosquito sticks are gagging all the bugs.

And your fire is ready to be lit, but there is still daylight left, go explore.

The main thing to do, after you visited human places.

Is to gather rocks, especially fossils.

Doodle dumb things on drift wood, and pretending it was already there.

Creating dangerous drift sculptures, that are about to bonk someone.

If you brought some varnished seashells, cheap coins, arrowhead replicas, or convincing trilobite prints.

Making it so that other people’s experience is fun, and helping them discover keepsakes that they will take home.

After what you had to do to that bear all bets are off, you just have fun now.