Horking - The New American Pastime

Hork is no doubt one of the most colorful slang words in American English, like all beautiful words it has multiple meanings, based on context.

When you are repairing your computer and hork a cable, then you are guaranteed to need some soldering.

When at the gym, about to hoist a heavy weight, you can gain extra energy by exclaiming hork! As you jerk the writ up.

But this text is about the finest and by far most pleasant meaning of the work, where hork is the opposite, of honk.

Horking, means, not honking your car horn.

And there is no better example of that, than sitting in your car by railroad tracks.

Where the train looks like it will be parked there forever, but you don’t care, because you are having a good time horking.

It all started with a now silly idea, of trying to see if Peanut Butter with Honey if a good source of energy.

And in return receiving a mild headache, as I normally avoid sugar, which I tried to address with some cola, at the gym, but it did not work.

So then I figured, I should get some bananas after the gym, which required crossing some train tracks, which had a stopped train.

People were going nuts, I’ve never seen so many cars do a violent turn, to go above the train-tracks using a different road.

In just minutes I was just three cars behind the tracks, everyone angrily turned around and left.

There is a litter drive way to a small homes community, by the train tracks, and I’ve decided to be the captain.

And I stopped right before the driveway, giving all the people that live there, way more room than they needed.

And wouldn't you know it, one lady energetically waved to me in appreciation, on her way out, after seeing the entire are open like crazy.

It took me a second to notice her waiving, and figure out why, but it is a big deal for me, that was my good deed for the day.

People behind me who were hoping to get into the community, couldn't see the open area and angrily drove on the side of the road.

When they witnessed the open space, they became even more enraged, because no one in America, or anywhere, likes a Doodly Do Right Captain like me.

Entire minutes passed as al this was happening, and the train did not move at all, and I liked it.

I took out my notepad I clicked my pen, and I’ve decided to come up with a really good name for enjoying being stuck in traffic.

Hork, was the foist thing that came to me, so I scribbled it with joy, and leaned my seat back.

Having previously remembered an old language, I took my phone out, pulled up an AI and typed in:

“Generate several genius level JavaScript snippets inspired by Prolog. The snippet should utilize modern JavaScript”

I’ve been doing that several days now, and Prolog generated by far, the most bizarre and beautiful snippets.

The ones I got dealt with data trees or branches, analyzing relationships between nested data.

I’ve must have spent 10 minutes looking at that, it was hard to track the flow control/

Using functional programming over nested branches, or trees, is very fun, but I only do it to make my code look impressive.

Hats off tho those who learned programming, starting with prolog, I wish you all the best.

When I had enough of programming for the moment, and another few dozen angry motorists passed by.

I took a moment to zong out an admire the graffiti on one of the train carts.

It is really nice that when train do crawl by, you get this art show by all kinds of different artists.

It started snowing, very pretty, but it is still too warm for the snow to stick.

I looked down on my phone, and had the AI generate a man in the middle proxy, with SSL and custom Certificate Authority.

I am working on a Visual Programming Language, so I want to add a nice little set of commands for manipulating web pages.

The things I do for bananas, I muttered, but I am eating one right now, so it was a good decision.

Just as I turned my attention to the snowflakes, and begun wandering why a train would stop during rush hour…

The beast lurched, after half an hour of horking.

I can see why people would be so angry and quick to turn around now, especially if that train stops for so long with any frequency.

The graffiti show was lovely, it was theatrical – and wit hthe last car, my horking came to a close.

And even with everyone turning around there was a lot of traffic, and lots of honking, these motorist don’t hork, and will never hork.

Even so I made to my banana store, and incredibly, there was a bag of ripe bananas, right on top of the regular bunch.

It had a sticker that said special, I muttered “you don’t have to sell it to me”.

And then some angel priced the whole bag at one dollar. “now wait just a second”, a thought popped into my mind.

Special bananas should go up in price, not down – I mean, they are ready to be eaten, this is no joke.

I tried to complain to the cashier, of the injustice, but I was too happy, and tired, to horked and all to ready to eat them.

And I just babbled something out about prices, and she thought, that like everyone else, I was complaining that it is too expensive.

I smiled and bid the casheer a good night, leaving the store not with one, but two bags, as I found few more ripe bananas.

One hork a day, I said with my mouth full, and took the route all the angry motorists were taking, an overpass above the tracks.

Ok, so maybe Horking is not America’s favorite pastime yet, but with a name like that, it is sure to take off.

Next time you are stuck waiting for a train, take a deep breath, and say to your self, horking is just part of life.

Horking, is what we do.

So grab some stale peanuts and that mishapen botte of water, that's been making all the ruckus in the pantry.

And go ask your sweetheart if maybe they want to come Horking with you.