Before You Sign Up For The Gym; Or, Walk Before You Run

A real workout is non stop, like fierce walking... you get bathroom breaks; but you got to hurry.

A fantasy workout, includes sitting, laying down, using machines, and chest exercises.

A workout is hard, it is annoying if not sometimes painful, and it demands that you use your wisdom as not to hurt yourself, too much.

The gym, like High School, or College, will sell you an impression of what you want.

But if you want the real thing, then all a gym is, is a reliable climate control box...

It never has enough dumbbells, and they are too-far spaced in weight.

Jumping from 8 pounds per hand, to 10 pounds, is a difference of accelerated 4 pounds.

You will fell that thing in you back, like a train wreck.

On your first day at the gym, you will only go as far as a fat kid can jog.

That is the couch potato standard, it is not a shame, but a baseline.

For me it was 30 seconds of lifting, to the beat of a medium speed song.

And then waiting over a minute, to try to pull my self back together.

When you see people resting, they are somewhat misinformed.

Rest does feature in a workout, but only at first.

While it is carefully measured, and shortened, until it is eliminated.

This is exactly what joggers do, to run their trail non stop.

At the gym, in addition to your legs, you also put dumbbells in your hands.

They will act on your entire body, especially legs, then your back, biceps and six pack.

The machines you see at the gym, are for when you get hurt.

More specifically, when you hurt your feet, tendons or back.

You scratch up your feet from bad shoes, hurt your tendons from the foam heal being too high.

And your back will hurt from electrolyte imbalance, long before you lift too heavy.

Never lift heavy, never, heavy means injury, it means time off, and it means ego.

Anything above 8 pounds per hand, or 16 pounds total, requires that you stabilize your back.

That it is safe, to put that weight on there.

But that means that you can't flex or twist, or dance, and you will not burn fat.

The gym is the most difficult setting, you can pick for yourself.

It is just a climate controlled box, and by climate I mean rain.

Because it will be too hot in summer, and too hot in winter.

If you stop heating in winter, one of the elderly will run up to the from desk.

And yell, "Turn up the heat, I paying for gym to avoid the chill of the morgue, you little bastards.", and you can't argue with that, at all.

The best setting, is either walking and then jogging through your city, or walking the Appalachian trail, with a comfy backpack.

I recommend that you take to adventure, before reducing your path to health.

To a climate controlled box, where it does not rain, but never gets cool either.

Walk a long time, across thousands of miles, have your body use up all your fat.

Grant yourself extra decades of life, and then sign up for the gym.

To stay flexible, and bouncy, and active, and forever young.

Afterword,

Not sitting at a gym is for large people, skinny people, no matter their age don't need the gym.

They need an umbrella, and long walks in the park, with all their friends, and sandwiches.

Now having said that, it is OK, to hang out at a gym.

Except that parks, lakes, state parks, ocean beaches, are just so much more beautiful.

There is nothing wrong, with bringing a couple 3 pound weights along, or slowly jogging.

It is something that others will admire, and copy.