One Language To Fix The World; Or, The Fancy Pantsy Programmer Cats
One Language To Fix The World; Or, The Fancy Pantsy Programmer Cats

Sunday • March 12th 2023 • 11:01:29 pm

One Language To Fix The World; Or, The Fancy Pantsy Programmer Cats

Sunday • March 12th 2023 • 11:01:29 pm

Bunch a cool coder cats got together to make a crew, and they were going to create something utterly new.

They were all pretty good code hackers, and they didn’t need financial backers.

In their might, they started coding in Perl, the code was beautiful but made their heads swirl.

They needed something readable that would last, and wasn’t going to become a thing of the past.

They jumped on the PHP train as it was function dense, skipping over Java, ASP and all the .NET nonsense.

The greed culture behind it all, was a nasty wall.

In PHP they wrote real pretty code, and the databases would never overload.

And just as everyone looked to Python, as the new code on the block that at least seemed fun.


Time came for the user interface, and this quickly became a new question to face.


They didn’t want to pretend that it is OK to use different languages for server and front end.

With their reference implementation nearly complete, they were gonna have gnarly deadlines to beat.

Eventually, they wrote their first full release, in JavaScript and with great ease.

The EventEmitter made the code perfect and uniform. And made them feel all fuzzy warm.

One language for server and UI, made the whole code-base as clear as blue sky.


Their big idea, was the first world-wide open school, and it quickly became the world’s most beloved tool.

No threats of being held back, no stupid fake grades, there was no room here for incompetence or charades.

Students created programs, games, music and art for sale, not a single student here could possibly fail.

They were learning within proper context and real world aim, all knowing that Knowledge and Wisdom is no game.

Graduation was marked by real world student success, not a piece of paper with a brand to impress.

They learned for as long as they needed to, all thanks to our farseeing fancy programming crew.

Artwork Credit